Opinion
Opinion

Donald Trump is a Dick

This isn’t going to be one of my 2,000-word deep dives on a topic. It’s just a simple observation I want to share about our new President, Donald Trump. I am the nicest person you’ll ever meet. I don’t make fun of other people after my own experience with bullying. I’ve never hated another human being before… until now. I loathe Trump.

Republicans in Congress are afraid of him. MAGA idolizes him. Gold statues have been erected in his honor. He has been called the alpha of all alpha men. He’s strong. He’s tough. He’s a genius. He’s a Christian man of God, and to say no to Donald Trump is to say no to God (according to the new Faith office leader in the White House).

All of that being said, here are the facts about Donald Trump in stark contrast to the false beliefs above:

Donald Trump is fat.

He is lazy.

He wears way too much bronzer makeup—especially for a man who is atacks the testicular fortitude of other men.

He throws temper tantrums like a 3-year-old.

He posts in ALL CAPS and frequently mispells words.

He calls people names like a stereotypical schoolyard bully.

He has never performed manual labor in his life.

He dodged the draft for the Vietnam war by having his Daddy pay a doctor to write a note: “Please excuse Donnie from physical activity due to painful bone spurs that don’t actually exist, but are one of the pansy-ass medical issues we could think of as an excuse.”

Donald Trump never worked a day in his life.

Its questionable whether he was actually accepted into college or if his father paid to get him in. Forbes wrote about why Donald Trump doesn’t want anyone to see his grades or SAT scores in 2019.

He hates DEI and wants a return of “merit-based hiring.” This is coming from the man who inherited millions of dollars and a business from his father. He is a terrible business man who has bankrupted every business he started, including casinos in Atlantic City—something that is almost impossible to do when “the house always wins.” Every opportunity he was given had nothing to do with merit.

Adam Kinzinger, and others, have said that Donald Trump has a pungent order that includes hints of literal shit. A scent that has been attributed to poop in his adult diaper.

He needs two hands to drink a glass of water. Jesse Watters likes to disparage any man who uses a straw or eats soup in public. He says the “pursing of lips” while eating soup is not “manly.” Have you seen how “pursed” Trump’s lips are as he gingerly sips from a glass of water, Jesse? In case you legitimately have not, here it is:

It looks like Trump also lost his man card when he committed the “beta sin” of drinking from a straw!

The reason I’m sharing all of these (true) things about Donald Trump is to draw attention to the fact that Republican men in Congress are afraid of this guy they claim is an alpha, though facts support he has the characteristics of a beta—a cuck to Vladimir Putin. He is not strong. He is not tough. And he is most certainly not a genius (A genius wouldn’t publicly brag about being given a “Dementia test” by a doctor who was likely concerned about cognitive deficits).

The “Dementia test,” which is formally called The Montreal Cognitive Assessment, is one that closely resembles what Trump has described as the “cognitive test” he took to prove he had a big brain and subsequently “aced.” A smart man would not mistake a test for cognitive decline with some sort of test used to measure the “size of someone’s brain” or their IQ. He has repeatedly talked about his ability to remember those famous words “Person, woman, man, camera, TV.”

From a2020 article in New York magazine:


In a new interview with Fox News, President Trump again repeated what is becoming his proudest triumph as president — allegedly passing a test for cognitive impairment. (We don’t know that Trump passed the test; the only corroboration is his former doctor, Ronny Jackson, who is obviously beholden to the president whose endorsement set up his new career.)

The test Trump took is not a test for geniuses. Its questions, such as pointing to a picture of an elephant and saying “elephant,” are designed to screen for dementia. But Trump took pains to note that some of the questions are harder. Several days ago he insisted to Chris Wallace, “I’ll bet you couldn’t even answer the last five questions.” Now he has revealed the most difficult of these questions.

“The last questions are much more difficult,” he said. “Like a memory question. It’s, uh, like you’ll go, ‘Person, woman, man, camera, TV.’ So they say, ‘Could you repeat that?’ So I said, ‘Yeah.’ So it’s ‘person, woman, man, camera, TV.’ ‘Okay, that’s very good.’”


He sucks up to dictators and attacks our allies. The obsession he has with leaders like Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un, and Xi Jinping is caused by a few different things.

One thing is the fact that he idolizes “strong men,” sometimes appearing to become aroused as he comments on how strong another man is (his theme song is also YMCA. Coincidence?).

Another reason for the obsession is his own weakness and a fear of these alphas. Remember Helsinki? The appearance of Trump standing at a podium next to Putin, shoulders slumped, the averted gaze of a submissive dog, speaking timidly as he declared he believed the word of a lying, murderous, monster over his own Intelligence Community.

It was an embarrassment on the world stage that the entire world will never forget. However, that incident was recently overshadowed by Trump’s odd behavior around Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu during his recent trip to the White House.

President Biden was criticized for not pushing Netanyahu away as he was bear-hugged by the man, but he didn’t bow down and kiss his feet (not literally, anyway). Trump didn’t just show submissive behavior during their joint press conference, he PULLED OUT A CHAIR for Netanyahu at the dinner table like he was a servant or on a date with the guy. Another strong indication that Trump is a beta.

Finally, he is obsessed with authoritarian leaders because he wants to be one. I wrote about the meeting that took place at Mar-a-Lago between Donald Trump, the leader of Hungary, Viktor Orbán, and a member of the Heritage Foundation at a time when Joe Biden was the current President. Trump was a private citizen.

I expressed my prediction of what took place in that meeting based on evidence, critical thinking, and simple facts. Trump has publicly praised Orbán as a strong leader, and frequently mentioned him at rallies, talking about how effective and strong Orbán is.

Trump had already begun following directions from “the authoritarian’s guide to killing democracy” during his first term. This is why we need to be awake, aware, and vigilant. Orbán was re-elected to his second term, did the same things Trump is doing right now and is still in power—14 years later.

It’s difficult to imagine making it through 4 years of Trump. Imagine if we have to put up with him for longer than that—until his death, only to then have Dictator Vance take over for the rest the next few decades.

It seemed clear to me at the time, knowing that the Heritage Foundation was responsible for Project 2025, that it was going to be implemented by Trump if he won in 2024. I believe the meeting was about using Orbán’s playbook that Trump had begun following in his first term to destroy democracy and remain in power.

Hearing that GOP members of Congress were talking about passing legislation that would allow Donald Trump to run again in 2028 was terrifying.

Viktor Orbán was elected by the citizens of Hungary, but lost re-election. He later ran again and was re-elected for a second term… 14 years ago. Then there‘s the evidence of all the ways in which Hungary’s democratically elected leader systematically destroyed democracy so that he could remain in power as an authoritarian leader.

The playbook used by Orbán is eerily similar to the plan laid out in Project 2025; it includes sowing distrust in the media, the destruction of a free press, sowing distrust of the judiciary branch and other government institutions, the use of trans people and immigrants as a distraction, Christian Nationalism, etc.

Donald Trump is Beta

Donald Trump is certainly not an alpha male, but with the help of dictators like Orbán, Putin, and others, the financial backing of the oligarchs, the influence of social media platforms, and the breakdown of Congress as a check on the President’s power, he is following in the footsteps of Viktor Orbán and that should have everyone extremely concerned.

A true alpha is strong—physically, mentally, and emotionally, with character and integrity. An alpha has performed manual labor at least once in his lifetime. He has worked for someone else as an employee, he has earned his own money, paid his own way, and his own bills.

He doesn’t bully others, he doesn’t whine when he feels slighted in some way, he doesn’t feel the need to put down other men in order to feel good about himself. An alpha treats women with respect, is kind, and helps people in need if he is able to do so.

He is not alpha. He is beta. Donald Trump is a dick.

Serena Zehlius is a passionate writer and political commentator with a knack for blending humor and satire into her insights on news, politics, and social issues. Serena spent over a decade in the veterinary field as a devoted veterinary assistant and pet sitting business owner. Her love for animals is matched only by her commitment to human rights and progressive values. When she’s not writing about politics, you can find her exploring nature or advocating for a better world for both people and pets.
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